Growing up with a divorced and dysfunctional family I often felt like the odd person out, especially amongst people who seemed to have normal families.

We moved a lot. My brothers and I were often living separately at our grandparents or the opposite parents’ house. We never lived one place long enough to build a foundation or a history with many people.

I longed to grow up in one place, one house, one city, one neighborhood, one school with the same friends. I envied those that talked of knowing each other since preschool. I always felt I was missing something. I felt even kids in military families had something in common, they were apart of a bigger extended family living their lives similarly.

The constant starting over always made me the outsider. Sometimes I would get accepted and other times I didn’t belong because the new place was totally different than the last. They dressed differently. What was popular in the last place I lived would be something they mocked you for in the new place.

It often seemed lonely not having a history with people. I had a history with my brothers that they knew what our lives were like. I missed them tremendously when we were separated. And yet the dynamics of our dysfunctional family would even tear us apart throughout our lives.

But, then something happened after my teenage years. I was free to decide where and when I wanted to go places. I still yearned for a stable foundation to call home, but I had no idea how to do it. Where I wanted to do it and just thought I would figure it out one day. I also realized I loved that freedom. That hectic childhood prepared me not to be afraid or to do things alone.

I met so many people that had normal childhoods and while they sound lovely, I discovered their lives were sheltered or limited. They really had been nowhere. They haven’t discovered how living even in different areas of the USA are different including food, dialect or ways of life. I would meet someone new, even in this day and be surprised they have never seen snow or a mountain or a beach. Some people save thousands to take trips to Disney, just once. Where I have been to both many times on day trips.

I lived in NYC and experienced Times Square a couple of times at New Years. I’ve seen the wealthy and the poor shacks in the USA. I learned many normal families were equally dysfunctional. That they knew how to keep it within the same 4 walls they grew up in. Their lives seemed like fairytales to me growing up. And now sharing my life with people, it was a great adventure to them.